The Haven Chronicles: Dark Month
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 11:26 am
Silver Gnome Spotted
A gnome, seemingly made of silver, was spotted with adventurers near a particularly foul smelling cavern. Speaking in anonymity, this twenty-three year old, blond-haired neighbor of the Whartle family stated that he caught a glimpse of the small creature while he was collecting lumber for the family woodworking business. This is the fourth documented case of gnomes in the past decade, causing some scholars to wonder if the fate of this once proud race is not as devastating as once believed. Simply more mysterious. There are many theories as to what happened to them, ranging from the equally outrageous: they simply shrunk to the point of not being able to see them to: They took to the Seas, living comfortably below the waters all these years. It should be noted that both theories have come from the same person, each time while heavily inebriated…Reportedly.
From the Seas
Seraphim Fleet Captain Spotlight
Grim, Captain of the "Incorruptible Truth"
By Arvellon Talmin, "Eyes and Ears" - The Chronicles of Haven
Time and permission was granted to sit down with each of the Captains of the Seraphim Fleet, answering many questions but leaving others in the winds. I was given an audience with the master of each vessel and present such so that the Kingdom of Haven and its Allies know they have nothing to fear. If their actions since their reappearance were too silent, perhaps their words will be louder to listening ears.
The fourth spoken with is a woman called Grim, hailing from a distant land and culture. She is the Captain of the "Incorruptible Truth," a frigate capable of extended voyages across long stretches of ocean. Of the 5 primary vessels of the Seraphim Fleet she has been seen traveling the furthest alone. I asked of Captain Grim the purpose of her travels and she answered me:
"I am a fairy, and we have our tricks. And I am a curious sort."
We spoke of her sailing close to the coasts of Haven and Dawnvale and the purpose behind such. She responded swiftly:
"There are many settlements along the way that have need of book. Also the Dawnvale Templars require deployment to aid the people."
To close I asked her of the perils of sailing alone as the "Incorruptible Truth" has been seen doing. Captain Grim smiled and replied:
"I am a collector of lore, of knowledge. It is not in my interest to engage in conflict, nor my custom to get into fights when I am on a mission of exploration."
Each Captain Spotlight will be presented in kind. Continue reading to learn of all 5.
A Gnoll incursion was quelled recently when the "Incorruptible Truth" disgorged her compliment of Dawnvale Templars to aid the beleaguered coastal town of Berne. The Templars drove the Gnolls back and the crew disembarked to aid in repairs to the village afterwards.
Words from the Wild
Wilderness calms as winter approaches
By Snarl Strongjaw, Wildlife Expert - The Chronicles of Haven
The wildlands appear to have quieted considerably following the defeat of a terrible malady that had been affecting wildlife for weeks. Natural food chains appear to be reestablishing well in spite of winter's approach. The local wolf and bear population has been especially active as they try to fatten up a bit before the cold sets in. The monstrosities created by the malady have all but vanished and it appears the wildlands will make a full recovery by next Spring.
Be on the lookout when you're traveling through the woods, and remember to never go it alone. Predators are actively hunting anything that can take down to ensure they've built up adequate fat storages before the snow starts to fall. Bears are especially dangerous during this time as they prepare to hibernate through the coldest periods. Remember, if you encounter a bear and the bear has noticed you do not shout loudly or run towards the bear. Raise your arms above your head and back away slowly, speaking in a calm voice. This will make you appear larger and less appetizing for the bear.
For wolves it's mostly the same but with a few new matters. Staring a wolf directly in the eye is seen as a challenge. The two most successful approaches are either averting eye contact while backing away. Be sure to keep yourself facing the wolf if you try this method. Turning your back on it and running will just incite the wolf to give chase. The second option is getting right mad as a cut snake. You can't be afraid if you're going to stare a wolf down. Pozzy yourself with the wolf and spread your arms. Speak loudly, yell to try and convince the wolf you are right out of your mind and not worth the hassle. This technique is only recommended for...well...anyone capable of holding their own in a scrap.
Be safe in the wilderness folks, and bundle up. Winter's comin' on quick!
Five Smiths Agree. Massive Explosion.
By Carmac Winterwater, Senior Scribe –The Chronicles of Haven
Five mysterious men, all with the last name of Smith (no relation), met in the Fishing Village yesterday to discuss their philosophical differences. Witnesses say they argued all night and well into the next morning, only to finally announce that they had come to a five-way agreement for the first time in their life. A man identifying himself simply as “Lock Smith” spoke for the group: ”It’s miraculous. We’ve all decided to live here. We all agree, it’s the finest village in Haven, though for different reasons, of course...” At that very moment, a volatile mixture of underground natural gasses caused a portion of the village to spontaneously combust. Eight buildings caught fire. Thankfully, no one was injured, and the fires were quickly put out. “Oh, we are quite used to disaster, here,” Fishing Village member Joshia Twane reports. “Every few weeks there’s an earthquake, or a fire, or a plague, or an undead squid. We’ve got bucket lines ready to spring into action at the drop of a hat. We’re not stupid.” The five Smiths were asked to leave until they could once more disagree.
Funnies (Answers at end of publication)
1. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
2. What do you call a pig that does karate?
3. What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday?
4. What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?
5. Where did Mary go after the explosion?
6. Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says: Did you Hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? The second one says…
Star Tower Finished
By Carmac Winterwater, Senior Scribe –The Chronicles of Haven
Several builders in Brennondale are reporting the Star Tower to be finished. An eccentric former resident by the name of Gek Rake left blueprints for the unusual building, and after a year the structure has now been completed “Now we just need to fill it with things to study. Books, maps, archeological artifacts. It’s meant to be a place of knowledge,” says Brennondale mason, Gossan. Several of the builders, while proud of their work, avoid the tower. “It just feels weird,” says builder Gale, “and the less said about that top floor the better.”
Woodworker Gone Missing
Gramble Minx, a local woodworker in the Wild Lands, has gone missing. He is believed to have been abducted from his home. Evidence of foul play reportedly exists. Any information as to the whereabouts of Gramble will be rewarded. His family is extremely worried. Gramble is twenty-three and engaged to be married.
Celebrations Continue in the Wild Lands
Since defeating the corruption that threatened the area, there is no shortage of tempered revelry in the area. Late nights, spontaneous parties, good spirits are the norm for the majority of the inhabitants, as well as travelers arriving just to take part in the good times. Despite the near constant partying, inhabitants have also been more productive, leaving some to believe that this once small, quiet village has become a town that never sleeps.
Depraved Trepidation
Although the general mood, as described in a previous article, is one of joy, there is an undercurrent of anxiousness over the discovered group known as The Depraved, who had been living right beneath the small town. Evidence now suggests that the network of Depraved is far more extensive than previously believed, causing some alarm that retaliation will take place. Children are cautioned to not travel alone, as are elves, who have been the target of attack and enslavement in the past.
Funnies Answers
1. They're really good at it
2. A PORK CHOP
3. Aye Matey
4. Names
5. Everywhere
6. "Good thing I’m a horse and buggy"
A gnome, seemingly made of silver, was spotted with adventurers near a particularly foul smelling cavern. Speaking in anonymity, this twenty-three year old, blond-haired neighbor of the Whartle family stated that he caught a glimpse of the small creature while he was collecting lumber for the family woodworking business. This is the fourth documented case of gnomes in the past decade, causing some scholars to wonder if the fate of this once proud race is not as devastating as once believed. Simply more mysterious. There are many theories as to what happened to them, ranging from the equally outrageous: they simply shrunk to the point of not being able to see them to: They took to the Seas, living comfortably below the waters all these years. It should be noted that both theories have come from the same person, each time while heavily inebriated…Reportedly.
From the Seas
Seraphim Fleet Captain Spotlight
Grim, Captain of the "Incorruptible Truth"
By Arvellon Talmin, "Eyes and Ears" - The Chronicles of Haven
Time and permission was granted to sit down with each of the Captains of the Seraphim Fleet, answering many questions but leaving others in the winds. I was given an audience with the master of each vessel and present such so that the Kingdom of Haven and its Allies know they have nothing to fear. If their actions since their reappearance were too silent, perhaps their words will be louder to listening ears.
The fourth spoken with is a woman called Grim, hailing from a distant land and culture. She is the Captain of the "Incorruptible Truth," a frigate capable of extended voyages across long stretches of ocean. Of the 5 primary vessels of the Seraphim Fleet she has been seen traveling the furthest alone. I asked of Captain Grim the purpose of her travels and she answered me:
"I am a fairy, and we have our tricks. And I am a curious sort."
We spoke of her sailing close to the coasts of Haven and Dawnvale and the purpose behind such. She responded swiftly:
"There are many settlements along the way that have need of book. Also the Dawnvale Templars require deployment to aid the people."
To close I asked her of the perils of sailing alone as the "Incorruptible Truth" has been seen doing. Captain Grim smiled and replied:
"I am a collector of lore, of knowledge. It is not in my interest to engage in conflict, nor my custom to get into fights when I am on a mission of exploration."
Each Captain Spotlight will be presented in kind. Continue reading to learn of all 5.
A Gnoll incursion was quelled recently when the "Incorruptible Truth" disgorged her compliment of Dawnvale Templars to aid the beleaguered coastal town of Berne. The Templars drove the Gnolls back and the crew disembarked to aid in repairs to the village afterwards.
Words from the Wild
Wilderness calms as winter approaches
By Snarl Strongjaw, Wildlife Expert - The Chronicles of Haven
The wildlands appear to have quieted considerably following the defeat of a terrible malady that had been affecting wildlife for weeks. Natural food chains appear to be reestablishing well in spite of winter's approach. The local wolf and bear population has been especially active as they try to fatten up a bit before the cold sets in. The monstrosities created by the malady have all but vanished and it appears the wildlands will make a full recovery by next Spring.
Be on the lookout when you're traveling through the woods, and remember to never go it alone. Predators are actively hunting anything that can take down to ensure they've built up adequate fat storages before the snow starts to fall. Bears are especially dangerous during this time as they prepare to hibernate through the coldest periods. Remember, if you encounter a bear and the bear has noticed you do not shout loudly or run towards the bear. Raise your arms above your head and back away slowly, speaking in a calm voice. This will make you appear larger and less appetizing for the bear.
For wolves it's mostly the same but with a few new matters. Staring a wolf directly in the eye is seen as a challenge. The two most successful approaches are either averting eye contact while backing away. Be sure to keep yourself facing the wolf if you try this method. Turning your back on it and running will just incite the wolf to give chase. The second option is getting right mad as a cut snake. You can't be afraid if you're going to stare a wolf down. Pozzy yourself with the wolf and spread your arms. Speak loudly, yell to try and convince the wolf you are right out of your mind and not worth the hassle. This technique is only recommended for...well...anyone capable of holding their own in a scrap.
Be safe in the wilderness folks, and bundle up. Winter's comin' on quick!
Five Smiths Agree. Massive Explosion.
By Carmac Winterwater, Senior Scribe –The Chronicles of Haven
Five mysterious men, all with the last name of Smith (no relation), met in the Fishing Village yesterday to discuss their philosophical differences. Witnesses say they argued all night and well into the next morning, only to finally announce that they had come to a five-way agreement for the first time in their life. A man identifying himself simply as “Lock Smith” spoke for the group: ”It’s miraculous. We’ve all decided to live here. We all agree, it’s the finest village in Haven, though for different reasons, of course...” At that very moment, a volatile mixture of underground natural gasses caused a portion of the village to spontaneously combust. Eight buildings caught fire. Thankfully, no one was injured, and the fires were quickly put out. “Oh, we are quite used to disaster, here,” Fishing Village member Joshia Twane reports. “Every few weeks there’s an earthquake, or a fire, or a plague, or an undead squid. We’ve got bucket lines ready to spring into action at the drop of a hat. We’re not stupid.” The five Smiths were asked to leave until they could once more disagree.
Funnies (Answers at end of publication)
1. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
2. What do you call a pig that does karate?
3. What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday?
4. What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?
5. Where did Mary go after the explosion?
6. Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says: Did you Hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? The second one says…
Star Tower Finished
By Carmac Winterwater, Senior Scribe –The Chronicles of Haven
Several builders in Brennondale are reporting the Star Tower to be finished. An eccentric former resident by the name of Gek Rake left blueprints for the unusual building, and after a year the structure has now been completed “Now we just need to fill it with things to study. Books, maps, archeological artifacts. It’s meant to be a place of knowledge,” says Brennondale mason, Gossan. Several of the builders, while proud of their work, avoid the tower. “It just feels weird,” says builder Gale, “and the less said about that top floor the better.”
Woodworker Gone Missing
Gramble Minx, a local woodworker in the Wild Lands, has gone missing. He is believed to have been abducted from his home. Evidence of foul play reportedly exists. Any information as to the whereabouts of Gramble will be rewarded. His family is extremely worried. Gramble is twenty-three and engaged to be married.
Celebrations Continue in the Wild Lands
Since defeating the corruption that threatened the area, there is no shortage of tempered revelry in the area. Late nights, spontaneous parties, good spirits are the norm for the majority of the inhabitants, as well as travelers arriving just to take part in the good times. Despite the near constant partying, inhabitants have also been more productive, leaving some to believe that this once small, quiet village has become a town that never sleeps.
Depraved Trepidation
Although the general mood, as described in a previous article, is one of joy, there is an undercurrent of anxiousness over the discovered group known as The Depraved, who had been living right beneath the small town. Evidence now suggests that the network of Depraved is far more extensive than previously believed, causing some alarm that retaliation will take place. Children are cautioned to not travel alone, as are elves, who have been the target of attack and enslavement in the past.
Funnies Answers
1. They're really good at it
2. A PORK CHOP
3. Aye Matey
4. Names
5. Everywhere
6. "Good thing I’m a horse and buggy"