"Hey you... I tell you what happen."

"We come to de town, ‘cause big, tall, skinny guy say dat der a job. He say dat good living can be made and dat we can get work. So me and Jux and Vug pack everyting – which was not much and we go to some 'Haven.' We tink we get der, but no one der, so we tink someone trick us or dat everyone die – but we can no find even body. So we wait in de tavern."

"Den some people come and dis man, who name Giddy One, come over and smell my arse and say he look for Beast. Someting not right wit him, he sniff everyone’s arse, but metinks no one else notice but Orcs – maybe all Haven do dat or tink it alright, I dunno."

*Grok looks around a bit at any other occupants a little oddly, then returns her attention to Garet.*

"We look for big, tall, skinny man, but he no come. But little, tiny old man come and say we need fight dragon, so we say, 'okay, dis must be job,' so we go. First icky moss come up off de ground and attack us and we kill it. Den dogs dat make funny sounds come and we kill dem all, too. Den we see big, huge, mosskos dat sting us hard and singing frogs dat play de lute, so we just walk by dem, but den dey attack us and we kill dem again. Den we come to a dead body, wit stuff wiggling all over it and, of course, de Orcs kill it and save everyone again. Metinks people here never fight before."

"I also find mace on ground – what luck! But den De Lidd tell me dat it his. He no understand how tings work. I find, it mine. He find, it his. He ask me for weapon, but I already gave my mace to Vug, and once you give someting, you no can take back. He beg me for long while and I tell him go away. So he did. And I fight with good new mace. Vug give him his new mace. Now we all have weapon, but he need mace back for someting. I no remember why now, but I give mace to De Lidd and he give mace to me. Damn. I should not have done dat. Little mace was better. I tink dat mace was not really his, but he see my nice new shiny mace and want so he just say it was he mace. Oh yeah, Eli Elf tell me he fix armor anytime I need. Den Eli never fix my armor. See, Guild of Light do lie."

"And der was dis creepy Valkyn’Vi dat kept hide behind me. If his eyes were not red, I would have pushed him ‘way, but I no sure if he could kill me or no. I guess I made good choice, cause he kill Loose woman, dat Roland like. I knew he no good. Be careful him: he name Kale or Pentupanguish – he no make up mind. And den der stupid crabby lady, who I tell I help, and she tell me she no need my help. She very rude."

*Grok looks up and nods in Kathryn's direction and continues speaking to Garet.*

"You should watch out for her. She run Guild of Light or something, she some kind of Queen. I say Queen of Rude."

*Grok continues speaking about Kathryn as if she isn't there.*

"Roland say her problem dat she had fifty years of tinking dat she better dan everyone else. I tink Roland right. I wait for time when she bleed at my feet and I say, 'Oh, too bad, crabby lady, you no need dumb Orc help.'"

"Fin’lly, we get to home of man in de middle of swamp. Metinks dis not good place to have home, but he was not so right in de head. We want go by house, and he no want us der, so we talk to him for a while and de Guild of Light no know what to do, so dey look in der books and whisper each other and I figure out smart ting to do: I tell man dat we need to go fight a big, ugly Dragon and dat why we need past. He laugh real hard and I say, 'What so funny?' He say he tink we need more people to fight a Dragon, so I ask him he want help us. He laugh harder and say he no tink he do dat. Den Vug and Jux start call me and say, 'Grok, dat IS de Dragon.' And de Little Girl tell me she think so, too. I say she crazy, but den Dragonman nod and I tink, 'uh oh…' So I tell him, 'I just jest. Grok make joke. Funny joke, huh?' And den Little Girl and Dragonman start make deal for someting, I no know what. And Dragonman say dat he want favor from us. I look at Little Girl like she crazy. I say, 'No make deal! No make deal, ‘specially if you no know what deal is. We no make deal!' But she no listen. She just put her hand to her head like she tinking real hard and say, 'De Guild of Light make dis promise: we will complete any task you ask in exchange for dis – and de Guild of Light never lie.' I tink dey mad and I tell Dragonman dat I no make deal, 'Ummm…sorry,' I say, 'We no make deal. We no kill you either. So when you come to collect on deal and dey decide dey no like your task and you got to kill dem, remember dis ugly green face, okay? Me no make deal and not dat ugly guy or dat ugly guy' and den I point to Jux and Vug. He laugh and den reach in his side and take out chunk of skin and give it to Little Girl. And den we go back to Haven. Dey crazy."

*Grok shakes her head, takes a swift pull from her tankard and continues babbling...*

"Den we get back and Donno talk to man who vampire hunter. Man tell us about vampire and what dey do. He and Little Girl start look at parchment and I no understand much after dat. But Donno give Little Girl dirt and she look to see if der blood ‘cause she smart or someting. She say dat der blood, but I no understand what dat mean to Haven."

"So we sit and drink a lot. And most everyone go der way. And Donno tell me many tings, but I no understand most. He say dat I 'Font of Orcish Wisdom' but I no know what a 'font' is. I tink it good. He say dat we smart more dan most. I tink he mean me, and not so much Vug and Jux. Dey not so smart. I have to tell dem all de time what do."

"Den I see red glowing eyes and tink dat it Kale, but eyes diff’rent. So I tell Donno and he look. We all start going toward eyes and den, “BOOM!” So I call for help. Nobody come. It just me, Vug, Jux, Donno, Deera and Brown Curly. We all fight good together and kill hundreds of skeleton, zombie, cat, dog and other weird stuff. We defeat dem all and den de rest of town show up. Figures. We do all de work and den dey show up. But De Lidd heal us, tankfully. And when we fight, we hear people in de tavern, we call in for help, but dey no help. I come in later and it Pentupanguish and Dark Elf and dey say dey no come to help because dey had no clothes on. Stupid."

"Den we hear more fight on de hill and we tink it Necro, so we run up hill and we no see Necro, but two town guards (same ones dat kill man by fire) fighting wit Dark Elf, some man name Steve, Kale or Pentupanguish, whatever he name. Town Guardman Number One Tim yelling at De Lidd for healing a man dat he just kill. And den all sudden potion wear off and it Roland and he screaming and fighting and Artos jump in and Dark Elf jump in and Pentupanguish and Steve and someone else fight. Pentupanguish got away, but dey catch Steve and den Artos and de Guild of Light take Steve and Dark Elf to der Torture Chamber. I tink it a little strange dat Guild of Light have torture chamber, but dey all act like it no big deal and dat dey all do it. Torture Chambers? Dat not so 'light.' Dey tell me healers can torture. I no tink I want to get dat good at healing."

"Guild of Light claim dey tell no lie, but dey keep lots secrets. Dey no let anyone in to question Steve. Dey only let Roland and Big Black in. But dey dumb and leave window open, so we just sit out window and listen in. Four people kill Roland Loose wife-to-be, including Pentupanguish, Steve, Man by Fire, and one otter. Roland knew because Loose wife-to-be was warden and Roland hear voices and she tell Roland. Artos tell Roland he can kill Dark Elf, but Roland say Dark Elf no know any better. But I say dey were in bed together and dey work together and she say she lie about dat ‘cause she afraid I kill her for not helping us before. Stupid Liar. No trust Dark Elf. No trust liar. Just tell trut, and everyting good. Stupid. Anyway, Corbin torture Steve long time and Roland get answer he want and Dark Elf go free and we all go back to tavern. Roland try to explain to De Lidd why he mad, and De Lidd say he will heal who on ground, no matter good or bad. Dat too bad. Because if he heal a bad guy I kill, I kill him. And I no want to kill De Lidd. But you stupid, you get kill. I trade wit Roland and we talk for ‘while and we sit by fire and Donno talk more. Donno say dat member town need to present stuff, so he going to do dat for us. We say okay."

"Next morning little man come and tell us dat friend get eaten by moss, so we go and fight. Of course, Orcs do all de work and kill most stuff. I protect Little Girl and Artos so he can get to green glowing rock. Artos pick up rock and get sick. So I fix him. Den De Lidd fix me while all de Guild of Light scratch dey head and look in book and no find what to fix de rock. And den I say, 'Duh, rock give disease to Artos, rock have disease. Cure de rock and it fixed.' And dey look at each otter like dumb, so I go over and fix rock just like I said. Den Guild of Light want to take half de loot. And I say no way. We do all de work and we had all de brains. So dey say 'Alright, how about ‘50/50’?' and I ask if dat good and dey say, 'Yes,' so I say, 'Okay.'"

"On our way back de Orcs find a shiny, pretty necklace wit drawings. De Guild of Light wanted real bad and dey make notes about drawings in dey book, but it my new necklace, so I say no. Dey beg and beg and I say no still. Later I ask Little Girl if she help me learn make potions and she say she only teach friends and dat I had to give her de necklace to be her friend; I say, 'But I just save you life, dat make me friend, no?' She say yes, but dat I have to give her necklace. I tell her no. She offer me pretty wrist brace and new necklace and tell me she teach potion and give me recipe, but Artos say no to poison, but he no tell us why and not answer us when we ask he, 'What you say ‘no’ to?' Den we say, just be honest, you dumb Elf, you no lie to us and we no kill you.” So den he tell us dat he no want people to hurt otters and we say, 'Duh, we understand dat, why you no just tell us? We just want potion help fight better and heal faster.' De Guild of Light want necklace real bad and I ask why and Corbin tell me dat it not magic, but he tink it pretty and dat it match outfit, so he want to wear, so I agree. Jux kept say no, dat de necklace belong him, but he just husband and no know what he talk about. It my payment for being married to such a stupid man. He mad at me and hit me and we fight. Of course, I teach lesson and he back off. Stupid. Never fight a girl Orc. She win all de time. And she always right. We smarter dan man. Dat how we made."

"I look and look for de Eli Elf to fix armor, but he not around and he never fix armor, he lie – stupid Guild of Light say dey never lie. So new Dwarf fix, but not all de way. We go to business wit Dwarf and give all our stuff to him and he make armor and weapon when we need. Dat good deal. Now I no have to carry all dat crap."

"And den we have council. Artos, Corbin, Donno, Little Girl, Jux, Vug, me, Giddy One and some otters. We talk about how people not in guild need reprehension, I tink. Donno now going to reprehend us to new men dat come to town. We all vote dat he new Elder. I like Donno. He good. He give us weapon to make deal wit de Guild of Light so dat der be peace. We no care so much about peace, but new weapon good. And dat stupid Roland no show back up to give potions to make deal. Der lots of people dat no do what dey say dey do. I tink Roland maybe sad dat he lost Loose wife, but he should do what he say he do. Dis Haven need to learn dat lesson."

*Grok looks over Garet to see what sort of notes he is making.*

"Is dat good? Or you want me talk more?"